December 23, 2003

the business plan will save us

I have developed the ultimate business plan:

Step 1: Lie.
Step 2: Profit.
Step 3: ?


Posted by eviljack at 09:01 AM

December 15, 2003

thank you billboard, for wasting my life

Somehow I fell into the trap of watching this year's Billboard music awards. I've never watched this show before. What's this? Well, I recognize Billboard - don't they make those charts everyone talks about? - hey, some bands I know are playing. Ok.

Over the course of 3 hours, this over-commercialized, sorry excuse for an award show (like the world needs another one) managed to:

  • Censor Pink flipping off the camera while one of her dancers gives her mock-head,
  • not censor Nicole Richie saying both "fuck" and "shit",
  • present multiple awards to high-profile artists (among them 50 Cent, Chris Cornell) who didn't feel like wasting their time making an appearance,
  • reinforce the conventional wisdom that Jessica Simpson received more helpings of tit than brain,
  • present a "century award" in the year 2003, and
  • mention Paris Hilton's sex video, but not R. Kelly's.

Way to go, guys. You make a quality product.


Posted by eviljack at 01:20 AM

fuck you saddam

For over twenty years, the US expresses implicit approval of Saddam's position as evil-overlord of Iraq. Then, one day, for no reason that is clearly apparent, the US says "never mind - fuck you Saddam"; after which his country is bombed, his palaces and possessions destroyed, his government abolished, his two sons murdered, and himself chased into a hole in the ground for eight months with nothing but money and a handgun.

We are Saddam's God.


Posted by eviljack at 01:06 AM